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The Fellowship Chronicals

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(Sam killed 1 snog Frodo)

uhhh, stuff [27 Nov 2003|10:13pm]

[ mood | weird ]

Frodo was sitting in the shire reading a book. Then Sam came over and started snogging his favorite Mr. Frodo. Legolas noticed this, and feeling very randy, joined in the fun. To make a very short story even shorter, the rest of the Fellowship joined in the fun. Orginess ensued.
The end.

That was pointless and stupid. You should all shoot me now.

(Sam killed 1 snog Frodo)

An intresting thought... [29 Oct 2003|02:17pm]

Here's your assignment...You're to write a short scene about the following prompt...anything goes. Enjoy!

*What would happen to Aragorn and Boromir if Legolas, the Hobbits and Gimli were suddenly self-declaired Transvestites??
You have 30 seconds....GO!

(snog Frodo)

The VSD of Legolas PART 2 [12 Oct 2003|08:20pm]

[ mood | energetic ]

Disclamer: This was written using characters based on those created by J.R. Tolken and also formated based on Cassie Clare's Very Secret Diaries. No money is being made off of these and no harm is intended...Enjoy!

The Very Secret Diary of Legolas: Prince of Troy
(As told to Kaylin and Chelsea)

Day 1
Am feeling quite put out. Arwen returned to smelly human leaving self all alone…again… Is self doomed to life as a bachelor? Note to self: Don’t let Elrond know self said “doom…” it’s his word…

Day 2
Pirate get-up no longer scary. Other elves make fun of self…saying self is a poncing git. Am not…only on special occasions is self a poncing git…not all the time. Keep closing eyes, breathing deep and telling self, “If I close my eyes they’ll go away… If I close my eyes they’ll go away… If I close my eyes they’ll go away…” For the record…it’s not working.

Day 3
Was confronted (more like beat-up, but self is manly, so self won’t admit that self was beat-up) by Aragorn. Needs to bathe, as usual. Aragorn so annoying. Keeps telling self to stop kidnapping/seducing his girlfriend. Not self’s fault self is so pretty. Maybe if he took more baths…

Day 5
Was run out of Rivendell… Am sulking in Mirkwood. Have stripped self of pirate outfit and have taken on cotton skirt. Cream-colored piece of cloth wrapped around waist v. comfy. Think self may venture out on a boat… no one will make fun of self there…except the fish though…

Day 6
* Urp * At sea and quite ill. Have been adrift for some time. Sea threw fit when nature called and tossed self overboard. Oh well…elvin boats no good at sea… * urp * Wish Johnny II was still here…tee hee hee * urp * ow…but he ran off with Arwen…stupid she-elf…

Day 12
Was washed up on shore on some island. Apparently crashed some party. Guests look rather like humans, but clean. Maybe they have more access to baths here…will ask…

WAS RIGHT! They have entire HOUSES dedicated to bathing! However they say they are gods…right, and self is Aragorn’s cousin…

Day 13
Am v. disgruntled. Got letter from Arwen. (How did she know where self is? Self doesn’t even know!) Have burned it. She wrote to say she married smelly cheating human. Have discovered that Aragorn is indeed self’s cousin. Still doubt that strange humans are gods though. Have written back asking why self wasn’t invited to her wedding. Do not expect reply.
Day 15
Have met all humans…pardon…gods. Most seem quite nice… All except that Zeus guy…he’s all muscly but rather girly. He reminds me of Elrond only buff…and purple actually looks good on him. He’s whining constantly. “Where’s my daughter?” To which several girls answer, “Right here!” But he’s like, “Not you silly whores. I mean Athena.” To which sever of the same girls whine. Someone’s coming over…looks rather familiar…ACK! Eomir is here too!! Scary diaper arrows of love! Run away! Run away!

Day 16 ½
Have spent several hours trying to pick out arrows of love. Am quite annoyed. Bugger.

(snog Frodo)

VSD of Eomer aka Cupid Day 4 [09 Oct 2003|06:55pm]

[ mood | sleepy ]

Day 4:
owie! have diper rash. self's arse doesn't feel v. nice now.
on happier note, Legolas is now madly in love with Aragorn. heh heh heh. did get death glare from Aragorn as self nanced past. So self stuck out toung at the wannabe king. needs his ego shot down...self has just been winked at by Aragorn! am v. worried, apparently love arrow hasn't completely worn off yet. or maybe he just fancies me...ick.

(Sam killed 2 snog Frodo)

*Huggies for Soso* [08 Oct 2003|02:40pm]

[ mood | blank ]

Aragorn: "You look like you need some love!"
Soso: "Go away or face the wrath of the TIRED SONJA SYNDROME!"
All: *gasp and back away*
Aragorn: "Aw...that doesn't scare me! Commere! You know you wanna!"
Aragorn: "I don't believe in backing off...now commere and give lovie-gor-gor a hug!"
Chelsea: *snickers to Legolas* "Lovie-gor-gor??"
Legolas: *Bursts out laughing, then screams in pain when Aragorn waxes his...well...He's not ill equipt, is he?*
Aragorn: "There, don't you feel better now?"
Soso: *smothered in a hug* "mumph!"
Aragorn: "Yeah, that's right...all better!"
Soso: *still smothered* "mumphneghasfgkljer!"
Aragorn: *pulling back* "huh?"
Soso: *Happily* "Yeah, great job you've done. Now I'm horney! Common! Let's go shag somewhere else."
All: *collective AWWWs*
Chelsea: *To Legolas* "Aren't we supposed to be the ones to go and shag everwhere?"
Legolas: "Who says we can't!" *to Aragorn and Soso* "HEY! WAIT UP! LET'S HAVE AN ORGY!"

(Sam killed 1 snog Frodo)

Eomer aka Cupid Days 2 & 3 [02 Oct 2003|07:44pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

I'm doing two days 'cause I didn't do one yesterday! hope y'all like it!

Day 2: am in full Cupid atire and sperading the love! have decided that self looks v. good prancing about and shooting people with these spiffy little arrows.
have found problem with arrows, it seems that the one who has been shot falls in love with the first person they see. now self has many people running after and declairing undying love to self. see nothing wrong with the women, but Theoden and Aragorn?! knew self was hot stuff, did not realise how hot though...ick! will just have to shoot people from behind bushes.

Day 3: am now covered in leafs after hiding and shooting. have found that the arse is the best target, also is v. amusing to see them clutch their arse then run about screaming! ...maybe self has been shooting to hard... oh well.
no one's arse is as nice as self's...except Legolas. hate Legolas! perhaps will shoot him near Aragorn...am feeling v. evil indeed!!!

(Sam killed 1 snog Frodo)

Treats for you people in America! [02 Oct 2003|11:25pm]

[ mood | quixotic ]

just a little fun for you all:

Soso: *very serious* Legolas, I order you to take off your shirt.
Chelsea: *lunges at soso: MY ELF BOY! MINE YOU LITTLE TROLLOP! MINE!!!!!
Soso: *steps deftly to the side to evade raging red head* before unleashing your inner radish demon, see what I shall do! *to Legolas* Take off the shirt Quarter Boy, OR ELSE!
Legolas: *terrified of soso* Yes ma'am . . . *takes off shirt*
Soso: *runs up and pinches Legolas's nipples* I'VE PINCHED THE HAPPY PINK NUBBY NIPPLES OF GLEE!
Minna (everyone): *blinks* o . . . . k . . .
Legolas: *masaging nipples* That hurt . . .
Soso: *looking gleeful* Yes I feel the nipple magic working! *dons "lobotomy patient" look* I feel happy now . . .
Kaylin: *sighs* It is a sad day indeed when we have to resort to potty humor to excite ourselves.
Morgan: Would ironic humor work better? *puts hand on forhead like a woebegon maiden* My life is meaningless. I loath myself so! Oh woe is me . . .
Morgan: *stops lamenting* Muffins? I WANT MUFFIN!
James: oops, sorry, make that, "I HAD muffins." *burps richly*
Morgan: *resumes lamenting*
Aragorn: *puts up finger* Or we could resort to slapstick! That works everytime! *makes orc slip on a banana peal - orc runs after Aragorn only to find that his shoe laces are tied together*
Soso: Orcs have shoelaces? Who would have guessed! *chases after Aragorn and holds him at nads point* Or I could just wax you bald and we could stick to the usual "Aragorn's my surfboard and Chelsea's being attacked by fuzzy animals that frightener her" story.
Kaylin: Or maybe we could just all teleport to Japan and reek havoc on Tokyo like everyone else does!
Soso: That gives me and idea! *grabs legolas and pulls him into a changing room that randomly appears out of nowhere*
Legolas: *gulp*

- Soso and Legolas reappear. Legolas is covered in a large lurid flower-print sheet. -

Soso: *rips off sheet to present Legolas dressed in a pink sumo thong* IT'S SUMO QUARTER BOY! *pinches his nipples*
Everyone: YATTA! *dance to Japanese techno*

Okay - that's my little random humor excerpt for the chronicals. Have a good day all!

(snog Frodo)

Eomer aka Cupid Day one [30 Sep 2003|09:08pm]

[ mood | mellow ]

whee first post on fellowship chronicals! I'll post more tomorrow :)

Day 1: after battle of helms deep. am feeling so victorious after battle, that have decided to change look. Am a bit nervous as last look (Julius Ceasar) got shot faster than one of cupid's arrows. Theoden whined about being the only person able to wear a crown then went off muttering about showing Aragorn.
after much deliberation, and rereading diary, have decided on Cupid!

(Sam killed 1 snog Frodo)

ALL HAIL MORGAN! [30 Sep 2003|10:34pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

All hail Morgan for she has joined! Feel free to dance about in a silly fashion in glee for her arival. Oh yeeeez - Legolas's nipples shall now be referred to as the "Happy Pink Nipples of Glee". It just sounds silly. I mean come on "Quarter Boy and his Happy Pink Nipples of Glee". If that doesn't sound silly, watashiwa zubon o taberu (I'll eat my pants).
Get ready for fun!

(snog Frodo)

Gods holy trousers! [25 Sep 2003|10:41pm]

[ mood | moody ]

Ohmigosh! That was great! Another work of genious Chelsea! Can I nads Aragorn anyway? I love nadsing Hairy Ary (my new nick name for him, you like?)
Keep being sexy!
Oh yeees, and I am moody due to lack of a certain medication that I am out of and it starts with I and ends with profin. You get the picture me thinks.

(snog Frodo)

COOKIES! [24 Sep 2003|09:44pm]

[ mood | geeky ]

Sorry, this is a belated post...It should have been on the 19th...so, I'm lazy, kill me!

Chelsea: Rachel! Rachel! What day is it????
*weird stares in her direction*
Rachel: Um...September 19th....why?
*Chelsea stares at Kaylin, Morgan, Jenn, Lauren, James and Soso, they proceed to suddenly strip and are now in Pirate outfits*
Morgan Joyeux Parle en Pirate jour!
Soso: *to Aragorn* Argh...If ye be refusin' to be mine, then ye be walkin' the plank into the sea of Nads, savy?
Aragorn: Eeep!!

(snog Frodo)

owie.... [24 Sep 2003|06:33am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

*thwaps head on table* WHY *thwap* CAN'T *thwap* I *thwap* THINK *thwap* OF *thwap* ONE *thwap* BLOODY *thwap* THING!!!! *thwapthwapthwap*
Writers block sucks. That's all I gotta say...
Ideas at this point are gladly welcomed.

(Sam killed 1 snog Frodo)

Fish Slapping and James wreaking havoc...as usual [17 Sep 2003|02:44pm]

[ mood | chipper ]

*Slaps Aragorn with a fish* YAYS!!!! CHELSEA IS GLAD TO BE HERE!
*gets angry look from Soso and v. scary growl* Chelsea doesn't want to steal your surf board....self has a v. pretty elf as lover....anywho....am feeling v. loved as Jame gave self permission to use him in the F.C.'s....sort of.....but hey, who cares...it's not like his name is copywrited or anything...anywho....COMING SOON!!!
*What will the F. do when the REAL Napoleon comes back?
*Why is Pippin wearing a dress???
All this and more coming soon to a L.J. near you!!!

(snog Frodo)

Hazah! [14 Sep 2003|08:56am]

The ever wonderful and cute Chelsea has entered our cult. She has passed the test and now is to be one of us. *hands Chelsea a fish* This is your symbol of acceptance into our cult - smack many and be merry.
PS - Chelsea if you don't know how to post on The Fellow Ship Chronicals, it's quite easy. You simply go to update joural... (click on the elipsies) then you go down "journal to post in:" and switch that from default to fellshipchrons. Enjoy and post much!

(Sam killed 1 snog Frodo)

AND THE RACE IS ON! [13 Sep 2003|08:04pm]

[ mood | crazy ]


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